Big Pimpin' rides again!

[chaoscheebs]

Zuko grumbled. “Tell me again: why am I taking you people to father?”

“Because my milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?” Aang asked.

The waterbender winced. “Where did you learn an expression like that?”

The Avatar jerked his thumb at someone behind him and answered, “Sokka.”

At his sister’s resulting glare, Sokka defended, “Hey, I can’t help it if the ladies love me!”

Ty Lee hugged him. “That’s right!” she said cheerfully.

“He is excellent at providing foot rubs,” the taciturn woman added with a nod.

“Just keep going and stop complaining, Zuzu,” Azula commanded, “Or need I show your little friends THE PICTURE?”

Zuko scowled with the might of a hundred rebellious teens as Iroh sighed and shook his head. “I should have realized it sooner,” the aged firebender said. “One cannot teach the ways of pimping to one with the soul of a bitch.”

The earthbender smirked. “I guess that explains Sokka’s situation.”

“Your friend had potential, young one,” Iroh corrected. “He merely failed to understand how powerful batshit is.”

“You wound me, uncle,” Azula said dryly.

“So…” Aang mused, “If Zuko’s a bitch, then can I be his pimp?”

The fire prince stopped. “Excuse me?”

“That would settle our debt,” Katara added thoughtfully.

“I thought the tea did that!” Zuko countered.

The waterbender wagged a finger at him. “I was just respecting the wishes of Pimpmaster Iroh. You still owe me.”

Azula scoffed. “Please. We all know Zuzu’s a little bitch, but father’s holding his leash.”

“Kinky!” chimed Ty Lee.

Sokka made a face at the circus performer. “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

“For once, we’re in agreement,” Zuko seconded.

“Not like with Sokka, Ty Lee. Metaphorically,” Mei explained to her ally.

The airbender clapped his hands together. “So, all we have to do is get Ozai to let you go and then you can be my bitch? I can do that!”

Iroh raised a hand. “You cannot; you are not versed in the ways of pimping yet.”

The waterbender put her pink pimp hat on. “Aang may not be, but I am. C’mon, Aang, let’s get you your bitch, pimp-style!”

“Hey!” Zuko interjected. “Don’t I have any say in the matter?”

“Nope!” the pimp-in-training and Avatar said simultaneously before opening the door to the Fire Lord.

“This won’t end well,” Sokka muttered.

“No,” Azula agreed, “but it should prove entertaining. Now, if only we had…”

Toph held out a bag to the fire princess. “Popcorn? I got the kernels if you can pop it.”

The fire princess laughed. “I think I’m beginning to like you.”

The circus performer and her shared pet peered into the room as a slap echoed through the hall. “Ouch, that’ll leave a mark,” Sokka said.

“Think she’d join our band of crazy chicks?” Ty Lee asked. Feeling Azula’s fiery glare upon her, she corrected, “Er, our band of awesome women?”

Zuko groaned, then winced at Katara’s shout of “GIVE US HIS BITCH!” and the sharp sound of another slap in the adjoining room. This really isn’t going to end well. Not at all, he thought.