Kingdom Hearts: Squeenix/Disney for "CRACK".

Despite mediocre reviews, "Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories" has me by the ear. Started it--yesterday? Day before?--and I'm almost done with the first quest. My card decks are named "1337" (standard deck; attack and magic), "WA-TAK!" (straight beatdown deck; physical attack and healing), and "Bob" (White Mushroom deck; all magic).

I have two things to say, story-wise:

1.) Riku is acting like a jilted boyfriend. Seriously. "First you ditch me for Kairi, and now *spoiler deleted*?! You _slut_!" (OK, no "You _slut_!", but the sentiment's the same). Really now, Riku, *spoiler deleted* is just a friend, and I'm sure Kairi would agree to share Sora with you if she gets to watch.

2.) Vexen. Is. THE. Fruitest. Villain. Since. Ghaleon. And. Ramirez. *beat* OK, not Ramirez. But definitely Ghaleon. He laughs like the demented child of Sonic X!Eggman and Naga the White Serpent, who was raised by Judge Doom. You can only attack him from behind, he wears a zippered _dress_ (OK, _robes_), did who knows _what_ to poor molestable by older men *cough*Ansem*cough* Riku... I hereby dub him "Lord Vexen of the Fruity Wannabe Goths".

On a side note, if I ever have to hear him laugh again in this game, I may have to hurt something. So annoying. SO Annoying.

Also, this game has done what all of FFVII could not: Make me squeal over Cloud. He's a pretty bad-ass summon, yo. Need... higher number... Cloud cards...

Unfortunately, the game also makes me wanna throttle Winnie the Pooh. Silly willy lazy-ass GET UP AND WALK YOU ^)(&ER bear.